The ceremonies in a Hindu wedding, and which ones your invitation should name

Guests do not need a theological account of your wedding. They need to know which functions they are invited to, when to arrive, and what to wear. But knowing what each ceremony actually is makes it much easier to write those lines well.

What follows is broadly the north Indian sequence. Your family's may differ, and where it does, your family is right and this article is not.

Before the wedding days

These usually happen weeks or months earlier, and often carry their own separate invitations.

Roka. The first formal agreement between the families. Small, usually only close family, and increasingly the point at which the couple's names are announced publicly.

Sagai or engagement. The exchange of rings, and often the first function with a real guest list. Many families now send their first proper invitation for this.

Tilak. The bride's family visits the groom's home to formally accept him. Traditionally men only, though this has relaxed considerably.

The wedding days

Ganesh puja and mandap muhurat

The first ritual of the wedding proper: a prayer to Ganesha for an obstacle-free ceremony. Family only, and usually not something guests are invited to.

Haldi

Turmeric paste applied to the bride and groom by family members, at their respective homes, usually on the morning of the day before the wedding.

What guests need to know: wear something you do not mind staining permanently. Say this on the invitation. People will not believe you, and it will still help.

Mehndi

Henna applied to the bride's hands and feet, and to the other women in the family. Typically a long, unhurried daytime function with music.

What guests need to know: start time and how long it runs, because guests drift in and out over several hours rather than arriving at once.

Sangeet

Music, dancing, and family performances that were rehearsed with more seriousness than anyone admits. The loudest and least formal function.

What guests need to know: the real start time, and whether dinner is served.

Baraat

The groom's procession to the venue, with a band and, in some families, a horse. The single most timing-sensitive item on the entire invitation.

What guests need to know: where it assembles and when it leaves, because guests joining the baraat need to be at the assembly point, not the venue.

Varmala or jaimala

The exchange of garlands when the couple meets at the venue. Short, photographed heavily, and the moment most guests want to be present for.

Kanyadaan and pheras

The core rituals: the bride's parents give her hand, and the couple circles the sacred fire — usually seven times, sometimes four, depending on tradition. This is the marriage itself.

What guests need to know: the muhurat time, honestly stated. If the pheras begin at 1:20 am, put that on the invitation. Guests who expected an evening's end at eleven will not thank you for the surprise.

Vidaai

The bride's departure from her family home. Emotionally the heaviest moment of the wedding, and one many families choose not to list as a public function at all.

Putting the schedule on an invitation

The mistake is listing every ceremony to everyone. A guest invited to the reception alone, reading a six-function schedule, has to work out which line applies to them — and some will simply guess wrong.

1. List only what this guest is invited to

   If your list splits into groups — full-wedding guests, wedding-day-only guests, reception-only guests — the invitation should reflect that split, not paper over it.

2. Give every function its own venue line

   Functions at home and functions at the hall are routinely confused. Repeat the venue for each one even when it feels redundant.

3. State the time you mean

   Not the auspicious time, not the aspirational time. The time a guest should walk in.

4. Add the dress note where it matters

   Haldi and mehndi especially. One line each is enough.

Regional variation is the norm, not the exception

The sequence above will look wrong to a good number of families, and correctly so. A Tamil wedding centres on the muhurtham and the thaali; a Bengali wedding on the gaye holud and the subho drishti; a Gujarati wedding on the mandvo and the pithi; a Punjabi wedding adds the chooda and the kalire.

If you are writing an invitation for a tradition you did not grow up in, ask the family rather than a template. The names of the ceremonies are the part guests read most closely, and getting one wrong is noticed immediately.

Frequently asked questions

How many days does a Hindu wedding last?

The main functions usually run across two to four days. Rituals before that — roka, engagement, tilak — are often weeks or months earlier and get their own invitations.

Which ceremonies should be listed on the invitation?

Do all Hindu weddings follow the same sequence?